Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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