Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
