1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
