i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's shark week go big or go home
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
