Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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