well I can't set my house on fire every night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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