Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
