Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
