marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
