Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
