How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize