we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
