I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize