We named our party play list daddy issues
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
