he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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