I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize