Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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