On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
