i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
organizing the empties. That sober.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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