Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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