I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
