remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
