Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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