Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
