puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
