Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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