Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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