found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
