I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
