I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
