No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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