Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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