ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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