i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
