another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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