we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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