the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
