I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
