We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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