Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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