I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize