Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
