Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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