my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
