So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well you can't waste a boner
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
