Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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