So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
