? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
