$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
