She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
