Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize