i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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