What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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