Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
