Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
