i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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