Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
