If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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